Initially, my answer to this infamous question was no, but as I really think about it…unfortunately, it depends. I feel like it’s a choice to let something like social media ruin a relationship because at the end of the day, with open communication and transparency, there’s nothing to really ruin. I can only hope that it’s a joke when people say it - the toxic positivity in me is going to say it is - but thinking you’re irreplaceable or like someone is going to regret moving on or won’t find better is just…well dumb, not to mention arrogant and quite frankly, not true…but at the same time I don’t believe in jumping from one person to the next out of lust or infatuation either. I almost got caught up in that bullshit back in the day but being a gardening tool isn’t for me. Negative influences or projections are REAL.
Over ten years ago when dating apps or just social media in general like myspace, tagged, and pof were still popping and we were using kik messenger:
I’m showing my age but chile, back then I never experienced being “catfished” or putting myself in dangerous situations from a dating app…it was never that serious, I’m picky…kinda, I have common sense…although naive at that period in time, and I stayed deactivating or deleting apps that started to annoy me (still do)….anywho, (that rhymed) after my first or second…or third heartbreak from ages 15 to 21(being a pisces woman is complicated), my “significant others” (my mom called them “friends”) definitely used social media to communicate with their other “friends” of the opposite sex and my attachment issues hadn’t been healed back then, honey. I wanted to be in love and they wanted to be a hoe but even when I grew older, I realized that being approached by bug-a-boo’s in public settings like a store, lounge, club, etc. was no better and I don’t chase men, honey but I’ve certainly been chased by a crazy ex…literally…in daytime traffic sigh. Anywho, my partner for life (well the rest of this physical life) a.k.a. husband is going to happen in the tangible world because I need to feel the energy and now that I’ve learned to trust my discernment and intuition, a bug-a-boo could never.
Back to the topic at hand, I believe maturity and the intentions of whoever’s involved also determines if social media has the potential to ruin a relationship. At the end of the day, in a monogamous union - to each their own if it’s not - when individuals are truly committed and don’t want to intentionally hurt each other emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. (chile, crackin’ a lil’ jokey joke on each other for fun is different), I stand ten toes down in believing that if someone decides to flirt or entertain someone else, it’s a choice. Being kind or respectful isn’t flirting though, unfortunately I’ve run into this issue too because the words “love” or “honey” are terms of endearment (to ME) and chile, don’t nobody want you bug-a-boo’s…like forreal! Mini ramble: I’ll never forget a “grown” man over 30 years old, who lied and gossiped with ANOTHER grown man (OVER 30 years old) that he almost got the chance to sleep with me…um first of all, he could’ve NEVER and second of all, he slept with some other random stranger (bruh, sexual health is wealth) and l don’t do ménage à trois…But I digress…I can’t speak for anyone else, but cheating is a no-go when it comes to staying around. Back in the day, I tried to stay after being cheated on when I was young and dumb but the relationship is never the same, I don’t care what anyone says!
“Do-Da-Dippity" The choice is yours: celibacy is where it’s at…for me 😌🪺
The duality & reality of living in flow...and umm...sexual health is wealth 🖋️🌊
As I continue to learn and observe the world, sometimes relationships take work but at the same time, we’re not meant to control each other or keep tabs on each other...but like…do…not…play with me…either. I can’t speak for anyone else, but toxic relationships ain’t it and at my grown young age, indulging in nonsense isn’t for me. Absolutely nothing is perfect, even though nothing is something because it’s still a belief (I googled it and briefly went down a rabbit hole of nihilism)…a TRUE divine union is possible with equally yoked intentions.
Coloring, singing off-key & thoughts about marriage, relationships as a single woman 💍🫖
More intimate thoughts and interactive blog stuff: https://www.dominiquesrobertsw.com/blog
READ-ONLY content: